


Fourteen Strikes

by Jehanne_d_Arc



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Apologies, As it should be, Barry is a snippy sugarplum, Boys Being Boys, Boys Kissing, Cute, Fluff and Humor, Humor, I double dog dare you, Kissing, Len is such a snarky ass, M/M, My tags will spawn for years to come, Slightly crack, YOUR TEETH WILL ROT, and you might at some point feel your heart melt, but not really, just read it, like yours truly, old married couple arguing, rated for mild language and a little grinding, read it, you'll laugh at least once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 11:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13212792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jehanne_d_Arc/pseuds/Jehanne_d_Arc
Summary: Cold walked into the cortex, cold-gun holstered.Barry didn't raise his head. “No.”“I haven’t even groveled yet.”“And the answer is no.”-- Think: 'we are never, ever getting back together' --





	Fourteen Strikes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [adiposeNarnian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/adiposeNarnian/gifts).



> Gifted to my darling sister, who found it hard to buy into established ColdFlash.  
> Inspired by this beautifully funny video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XK2YUZ1-zPw when I realized that this is basically their relationship in a campy little nutshell.  
> You're on your own from here, folks.

Cold walked into the cortex, cold-gun holstered. 

Barry didn't raise his head. “No.”

“I haven’t even groveled yet.” 

“And the answer is no.” 

Barry turned around, meeting Leonard’s pout with his own ‘I’m not kidding’ face: eyebrows up, mouth set, chin slightly tilted down, head slightly tilted sideways - the picture of a parent who will not be talked down from a maximum sentence. Len pulled a slight face, sniffing dismissively.

“I’m not kidding,” Barry pulled his shoulder’s back and up, spreading his hands, leaning his face towards Len. “You tried to kill me, Cold!” 

“Ooh,” purred Leonard. “Pet-names. Haven’t heard _that _one in a while...”__

____

Barry’s shoulders dropped, his face going from incredulous to a more bland form of disbelief. “For real?” He shook his head, walking at a normal human speed to collect his coat and wallet. “Leonard...” He turned around, letting his tone finish the sentence. 

__

“Looking for this?” Snart held the slim, brown pouch up in his hand. 

__

“Leo-”

__

“A moment ago I was ‘Cold’,” he reminded, helpfully.

__

“You’re gonna have to give that back.” Barry’s arms were folded, and he had the brusque, tight, snippy tone of a kindergarten teacher with a migraine. 

__

“Only if you hear me out.”

__

“There is nothing to hear out!” Leonard threw him a slightly disapproving look, but Barry shook his head. “I’ll say it one more time: you tried to kill me.”

__

“Have a little faith,” Len chided. 

__

“So that was not _you _, back there, shooting me?” Barry clarified, flatly. He crossed the room to turn the lights down.__

_____ _

“Don’t play with me...” His lips curved, “... _Flash _... You know that pretty tux of yours can handle it.”__

_____ _

____

_____ _

Barry shook his head. “Not since those cold-gun adjustments from the future.” He pulled a face. “The time travel thing? It’s so unfair.”

_____ _

__

_____ _

Len made a soft clucking sound with his tongue. “I thought that Cisco made adjustments.” A quick head shake. “You just cannot get the help these-” 

_____ _

__

_____ _

Barry cut him off with a look. Blessed silence descended, and he went back to gathering papers and setting them under paperweights. (The lab had put it to a vote after the first few years of paperwork being washed onto the floor every time Barry entered or exited a room at speed. Paperweights were a unanimous ‘yes’.) “I know that you like to think,” Barry muttered into the piles of forms, “that actions just do not have consequences, but sometimes they really do. For instance,” he stapled something savagely, “if you wanted to come waltzing in here and get a warm reception, then-” another stapling, “you should have thought of that, before you froze me to the ground and gave me an hour’s worth of frostbite!”

_____ _

__

_____ _

“I don’t guess flowers are gonna cut it this time.”

_____ _

__

_____ _

“I will cut the flowers if I get them. If that’s what you meant, then yes: flowers will do just what you had hoped.”

_____ _

__

_____ _

“How about DVDs? You liked Firefly? 15th anniversary edition?”

_____ _

__

_____ _

“You gave it to me last time.”

_____ _

__

_____ _

“What about SHIELD?”

_____ _

__

_____ _

“I’ve got it.”

_____ _

__

_____ _

“Prison Break?”

_____ _

__

_____ _

“The time before that.” He spun around, his face a stony thing to look at.

_____ _

__

_____ _

Leonard pulled a face. “I do this quite a lot,” he had to admit.

_____ _

__

_____ _

“You do, Len, yeah. And for the record?” He raised his eyebrows. “I cannot be bought!”

_____ _

__

_____ _

“But how ‘bout bribed?”

_____ _

__

_____ _

“LEONARD!”

_____ _

__

_____ _

“The World as I See It, by Albert Einstein. First edition. Signed.”

_____ _

__

_____ _

Barry’s eyebrows shot up, and his cheeks grew pale. “You can’t buy that...”

_____ _

__

_____ _

“But I can steal it,” Leonard offered, peaceably.

_____ _

__

_____ _

The nose breath sigh was like an actual threat from Barry.

_____ _

__

_____ _

“Just let me talk to you.”

_____ _

__

_____ _

“You’re talking to me now.”

_____ _

__

_____ _

“But might we try that with you _listening? _”__

_______ _ _ _

__

_______ _ _ _

Barry put on a small show, weighing all his options. Then after a moment his gaze lifted, and he looked Len in the eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Did you say something just now?”

_______ _ _ _

__

_______ _ _ _

“Cute,” purred Len - a favored term: so fun to say, and it made Barry blush. The magic word did not fail him.

_______ _ _ _

__

_______ _ _ _

“What do you want, Cold?” Barry grit his teeth, fully aware that color was washing across his cheeks.

_______ _ _ _

__

_______ _ _ _

“To go back to being ‘Len’.”

_______ _ _ _

__

_______ _ _ _

“Well, I’m not stopping you.” He turned his back intentionally, fingers ruffling papers that he’d already sorted, so that he wouldn’t have to look at Len.

_______ _ _ _

__

_______ _ _ _

“It doesn’t count if you don’t say it.”

_______ _ _ _

__

_______ _ _ _

Barry snorted. “What, your name doesn’t?”

_______ _ _ _

__

_______ _ _ _

“Yes.”

_______ _ _ _

__

_______ _ _ _

Barry’s fingers stilled on the papers. He didn’t turn around. After biting his lips for a moment, he managed, “Do you remember two break ups ago, when I went to a karaoke place and sang ‘We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together’ three times in one evening?”

_______ _ _ _

__

_______ _ _ _

“And tried your damndest to get drunk? I heard the horror stories from your sister.” 

_______ _ _ _

__

_______ _ _ _

“A sister I could still be dating!” Barry burst out. Then, “No... wait... that didn’t come out right...”

_______ _ _ _

__

_______ _ _ _

A soft ‘hmm’. “Take your time.”

_______ _ _ _

__

_______ _ _ _

Barry rolled his eyes and turned around. “You know that you’re an ass, right?”

_______ _ _ _

__

_______ _ _ _

Snart’s gaze was wandering the walls. He murmured, “So they tell me...”

_______ _ _ _

__

_______ _ _ _

Barry shifted, quietly. “And by ‘they’ you mean me?”

_______ _ _ _

__

_______ _ _ _

“Believe it or not,” Snart turned as he perused the cortex, “you aren’t the first person to think I’m an utter _schmuck _.” He let his words smack, and slide, his consonance oddly sharp and pronounced, just for fun.__

_________ _ _ _ _ _

__

_________ _ _ _ _ _

Barry took the moment to put on a burst of speed, racing to the other man's side, his fingers wrapping around the wallet still in Leonard’s hand. Len was expecting him, as evidenced by the sword-in-the-stone immovability of the wallet. In slow motion he got to watch Len’s fingers close around his wrist, and he was tugged around to be pinned between the criminal and the computer desk. 

_________ _ _ _ _ _

__

_________ _ _ _ _ _

“ _Gotcha _.”__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Len’s face was just an inch from Barry’s, his eyes twinkling, his gaze slipping helplessly across the hero's features. 

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Dammit, Snart!”

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

His nose brushed Leonard’s for a moment - which one had initiated that, he couldn't tell, though he assumed it was Leonard, as the man had his eyes closed, and his breathing was heavy - and he felt his knees attempting to betray him. Nope, nope, nope, nope...

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Say it.” Leonard’s voice was a soft murmur just a few inches from Barry’s lips. 

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“You can’t keep killing me.”

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I didn’t kill you,” he said. “Say it to me.”

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“You could have killed me, though,” Barry tried one more time.

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I didn’t fuss when you nearly killed me.” He nosed against poor Barry’s cheek. “Say it.”

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“You broke up with me,” Barry ground out.  


__

“And then you came and got me back. I was _nice _about it. Every time.” His breath ghosted across the other man’s skin. “So be nice, Barry.” A rougher, softer whisper. “ _Say it _.”____

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Barry looked him in his cold, blue, hooded eyes. His voice was a choked murmur. “Len.”

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

A swallowing sound, and then, “Barry...”

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

And then their mouths were crashing together, and Len’s hands were crushing Barry’s hips, and Barry's nails were leaving pink lines across Len’s jaw, neck, collar, back, waist-

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

A paperweight hit the ground, as Barry sped away. Papers swirled as he returned, a heartbeat later.

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“What in hell was-”

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I had to turn the cameras off.” He kissed his boyfriend, feverishly. “Security cameras, Len: you remember those.” He started back on Len’s neck.

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“If you think Cisco doesn’t know, then you’re deluded in a whole new way-”

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“It’s not that,” Barry managed between bites. “I promised him I’d disconnect them next time...”

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“No traumatizing the tech boy?” Len pouted. “You spoil all my fun.”

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“And you just spoil me,” said Barry, slipping Len’s coat from his shoulders. “Or at least, you know: you better.”

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Len grinned. “I think that I can manage that.”

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“But next time,” Barry gasped as Len ground their hips together, “it’s totally over. Like - ugh! - like, for real this time.”

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Len bit his hero’s lips, his fingers skimming underneath the red t-shirt. “Of course,” he hummed, his lips curving, happily. “Fourteen strikes and you’re out, buster.”

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


End file.
